Day 5 – Daily lent practice: How? Make God Himself your way

Category : Daily Lent Practice

“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the
life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’”
(John 14:6)

“Why do I pray? Why do I fast? Why do I seek
seclusion? And why do I read? Is it in order to be a
man of prayers, or fasting or to be known as a lover of
seclusion or a man of knowledge?

Do I really love God Himself or the way which leads
me to Him? For example, do I love prayers or love God
to whom I pray? Sometimes I notice many imperfections
in me: When I recite all the psalms required from me,
I feel happy not because I was talking with God but
because this proves that I am successful in performing
my worship duties as a monk!! On the other hand when
I fail to recite all the required psalms I feel sorry, not
because I did not enjoy talking with God but because
I am unsuccessful monk. I feel the same regarding my
fasting, my watching and my readings.

It is absolutely a personal matter, it is an evident
selfishness which fills me with the desire to be exalted
in my own eyes irrespective of my relation with God!
When will the time come when I do not pray even one
psalm, yet I feel happy because in spite of this I am
abiding in God through other means of worship?

Do I pray to feel the pleasure and enjoyment of
talking with You and to feel the happiness of being in
Your presence? Or do I pray so that I may acquire a
virtue by which I attain eternal life? Perhaps I do pray
to talk with You and ask You to give me that life? Is the
prayer from my own point of view an objective or just
a means? For example when one interrupts my privacy
and my prayer I rage against him, I lose my inner peace
with people. Consequently I feel disturbed within me
and lose my peace with God also. This means that
the prayer is an objective not a means and in order
to attain this objective I must deviate and behave in a
wrong way!!

Worship is just a way that leads to God but God is
the aim. Love is a way, ministry is a way but the aim
is one i.e. God. Why then do we lose God in order to
keep Him! And the way that leads to Him is in the form
of desire! Let us then love the way not because it is
desirable for it is indeed so but because it leads us to
God. Let us hurry along the way and cross it quickly to
arrive to Him. It is perfection to make God Himself our
way because He Himself is the way as He said (John.

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